vintage gramophone,
vinyl record plays coarsely:
Feed animals in the zoo
‘Come outside with me’
she says it as if it were no big deal –
to go there, ‘It’s a black farce’
I answer and hide behind my
special amber cape.
then later, a movie, too
Melodrama makes for good sex
in a room filled to the brim with frightening things,
pornographic racial preferences excite her.
Extreme prejudice liquidates
woman.
lover.
Help
Me.
Summer - please save us
from ourselves;
before it’s too late.
the clocks had tightened by one hour and one week,
she sucked out all of the goodness from the air
bending the half light backwards with her suggestions.
Catherine wheel pyrotechnics and rocket propelled zooms riled her pets –
aggression inhabits the atmosphere they patrol .
You made me forget myself.
Low pressure barometer drops,
drizzles poor to a damp door,
this girl bestows an armband - snugly bound
and a brain w a s h r i n s e lonely.
As a cloud, then
twitching in epileptic isolation
my belly button loaded
with the redundancy:
of me
I’d have done anything not to go outside to touch it
she knew this
and now it’s too late.
I thought I was someone else,
someone good.
Lou Reed: Perfect Day, Transformer (1972)

Fun read Arron. I loved all the devices employed here. The Lou Reed reference was pretty neat the way you tied it in. They patrol and she knew this, separated implication of a paused, delayed response- really liked that a lot. The projective verse was cleverly utilized as well. Overall really enjoyed the read, thanks
ReplyDeletedude that was awesome... made a very cool song... I wouldn't mind jammin' this during a long walk
ReplyDeleteGreat final lines: I’d have done anything not to go outside to touch it knew this now it’s too late.
ReplyDeleteIts never nice to forget yourself...
Great lyrical feel to your verse today, was such fun to say and the hear, don't you know feeding those animals can bring fear..haha
ReplyDeletesee i have too much hair for it to pool the belly button, it would take far too long to clean up...oh wait this is about that...smiles...i kinda like it outside but that may not be best...
ReplyDelete"the clocks had tightened by one hour and one week,
ReplyDeleteshe sucked out all of the goodness from the air
bending the half light backwards with her suggestions."
I liked this section a lot. Whatever she is, she sounds like a woman not to be trifled with.
Wordsworth would have a heart attack, despite the nod.
Got to love Lou!
I’d have done anything not to go outside to touch it
ReplyDeleteshe knew this
and now it’s too late.
I thought I was someone else,
someone good...one thing is sure...you're a damn good poet and this record plays on many levels..
The emotions in this are so ornately manipulated they are almost paisley tie dye lasered over the hair shirt and the leper's loin cloth. Love love love the beat, man. Melodrama *does* make for good sex--psychodrama, not so much. Love the lonely as a cloud line--he would be swiveling in his tomb seeing that one,that way, wouldn't he?
ReplyDeleteThe finish...all about the finish on this one, word weaver...and you can not possibly fail with Lou Reed! You got some soul going on...now, off to wash that belly button, eh? (I do want to see a big gospel choir singing twitching in the background)
ReplyDeleteDammmmmmmm man, you can put some words and lines together with thought and image. And Lou Reed, a rockin' conclusion to a mindbending, thought provoking, beyond interesting experience. Enjoyed as laways.
ReplyDeleteU n d o n e!! Loved it...so creative. Contemporary, but completely 'beat' at the same time. The words edgy, but your delivery so smooth.
ReplyDeleteLoved:
'she sucked out all of the goodness from the air
bending the half light backwards with her suggestions.'
I felt the beat before the music started : )
-Eva
Lou Reed, uh-huh, takes me back to ninth grade skipping school to take the bus downtown- listening to the walkman on the way do dodo dodo do do do...
ReplyDeleteSo much to enjoy about this one, not only the smooth flow of the words when spoken/recited but the formatting is dynamite as well. Another video triumph too, such fun to watch these. Still think my favorite part is redundancy: of me
Fabulous reading and style, you never disappoint.
ReplyDeleteDig dig dig this...so glad I clicked on the vid, cuz you've got it going on...I caught a bit of American Prayer vibe (aka Awake) and the end (damn, I'm stumping on where I've heard that rif) no matter; truly a creative write & performance, cheers ~
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading this one... and then watching your video...
ReplyDeleteI liked it all...
Shashi
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/11/whispers-tears-in-rain.html
WoW! Impressed and in awe. So glad you stopped by my little poem so that I could be led here for this insanely good experience.
ReplyDelete//the clocks had tightened by one hour and one week,
she sucked out all of the goodness from the air
bending the half light backwards with her suggestions.//
Wow, just, wow. *applause*
So so many great lines here, the melodrama, the room, the close was especially strong, I thought.
ReplyDeleteI love the ending. It's a recurring theme in my head most days. There are many lines that jump out and grab me, most already mentioned. Nicely done.
ReplyDelete"a brain w a s h r i n s e lonely" -- I love that Arron. Great piece!!
ReplyDeleteI want to ask "why" not what. I understand the how of clox. So distinct yet so apart. I still need to know why not. And why now and why then: was it a war? did it take? was it seen? it paints and then it's real but did it start by cutting off its ear? or was it Paris out there? Newness and modernity impress but why then and why not now?
ReplyDeletethe clocks had tightened by one hour and one week,
ReplyDeleteshe sucked out all of the goodness from the air
bending the half light backwards with her suggestions.....excellent lines, great!
Arron... much to suck on here..troubling mix of emotions...you'll be pleased about that.. :)
ReplyDeleteThese amongst your nest ever for me:
the clocks had tightened by one hour and one week,
she sucked out all of the goodness from the air
bending the half light backwards with her suggestions.
...And the vid... another time, another place, another piece of art... not just the words plus the music plus the poet... way more than that.. Bravo..
Arron,
ReplyDeleteSo many great lines. So cinematic and dynamic. The ending is so...poetic...not just an end stop. Now back to re-read. Very admirable.
This is a wonder to read aloud, I must of gone over three times playing with the emphasis and roll. Watched you getting lost as I was getting lost in the melodic beauty of this. Wonderful write ~ Rose
ReplyDelete